Almonds

Peanuts, almonds, walnuts, too.
You've got me shouting, "I WANT YOU!"
Who dare challenge such a cute little treat?
One you can eat with your hands and feet!
I like them roasted, honey and plain.
I'll eat them in the car or on a train.
I'm CLEARLY hungry with no food in sight.
On Planters and soda, I shall feast on tonight.

Moving onto soda, not Kool-Aid or wine...
I want my diet and that's just fine.
Slice a lime to get real crazy or a lemon for some zest.
You can keep your Pepsi and I'll take the rest.
Diet Coke is the only way to go,
at home on the couch or at a movie show.

That's what I've got brewing in my silly little mind.
Joke and zingers are creating all the time.
I should stop now and get back to the pit...
clearly I've got too much time on my hands, that I'm writing all this STUFF.

(Whew! I did it without one f$%#en bad word! :))